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Friday, September 14, 2007
A Pastor
Pastor. Exactly what is a pastor supposed to do? I work at a church, and I get the work done that I am supposed to get done. I do my tasks, but do I pastor? Should I be shocked that I can answer no to that question more often than I can say yes? So every day I come into my office with planning for things to be different. Each day I have hopes of my job and tasks being spiritual (most of them anyways), and every day when I go home I mourn another day in the office where I did my tasks. Nothing more, nothing less. What are these tasks? I plan certain events and these need to be well done. During all of this I need to show competence in leading people and the organizational skills to execute the plans. I need to keep things the same just enough to keep the traditionalists happy, and at the same time change just enough to keep it fresh and exciting. I also have to work with people and volunteers. A lot of recruiting and training people, but not too much because then you are boring or obnoxious. I also need to throw into the mix, making problems go away and communicating with people. Pretty simple really. These things fill my day. The trick is not getting these things done; that's easy. It gets tricky when I have to mix spiritual things and jargon in there because it is a church and I am a pastor. Every day I dance around the expectation that I will make the American church's business expectations spiritual. I tell them that these events are necessary for us to reach people for Christ. That makes us all feel better for the day of the event, but when I go home I know that something isn’t right. I planned an event... I solved a problem... I soothed the ache in someone heart about things feeling meaningless and burdensome...I did my job, but I was never a pastor. My name is Fayez and I am an administrator with a pastoral title and clothes. I don’t spend my days praying or studying the Bible. I can do my job without God and probably get a raise for it. I guess the question is who is to blame. Do I blame American Christian society for the expectation? No, the person to blame is me. I have refused to do the pastoral duty of breaking that mold and refusing to be pushed into it. I will plan the events, recruit people, and solve problems (somehow this is a part of my duty), but these tasks will no longer define my job, role, or days in the office. From this day on I will start pastoring again. I guess what I am saying is that I repent.
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6 comments:
Well, well, well...look who turned up on the blogosphere -- the Reverend Ayoub!
I was all set to start an extended monologue on the difference between 'Titles vs roles' but you got me with your being 'an administrator with a pastor title.' Then I was going to get you on the quote about 'I can do my job without God' but you already blame yourself for that.
So, here is my two denarai (it's Greek for denarai...j/k). What makes being a pastor any different from the hundreds of thousands of other Christians who go to their jobs, stay home with their kids, go work out, go shopping, etc? What makes something a 'spiritual' acitivity? I process body parts of donors, but am I a Christian while I am doing it? Why not? Your job does not define your level of spirituality, your spirituality defines your job. Yes, disciples of Christ make the best employees--but do the best employees in turn make more disciples for Christ? I guess, I read your post and see myself--just change the title to "A Christian". We all make the choice to work as men-pleasers/self-pleasers or as God-pleasers. Some things God gives to us are mundane--if we allow them to be! Not to be too radical (since my initials are RAD), isn't all of life (including jobs, play, relationships) to be lived to God?
This is me agreeing with you! And pointing out that we (American Christians) compartmentalize our lives to avoid havnig to submit to God in all of our life. Or maybe that's just me...
andy
Amen Andy and Amen Fayez. Thanks for the challenging thoughts!
hey fayez.. liked the post. Glad to see you blogging. you have some great thoughts. I also liked the blog about the triathalon. Good stuff.
You are doing well, my dear brother! I will continue to pray for your guidance and peace as you carry on in this mission field of children's ministry! You are helping to shape our little ones into warriors for Christ... that is SO awesome! Never think to minimize what you do and what God is doing through you.
Friend, we don't know each other but you articulated why I quit being a youth pastor and why I quit going to church for a year. The institution is sick. IT needs to repent. WE need to repent.
I talk to pastors all the time and they all say the same thing. There is something SYSTEMICALLY wrong with the American Church. I have not given up on Church. I go now.
However, I am determined to BE the church with a few and not just go to church with the masses. I refuse for church to be a place. I am recovering what it means to live in fellowship with others as the body of Christ.
It's messy...real...and freeing. I believe as much for you and your people.
Friend, we don't know each other but you articulated why I quit being a youth pastor and why I quit going to church for a year. The institution is sick. IT needs to repent. WE need to repent.
I talk to pastors all the time and they all say the same thing. There is something SYSTEMICALLY wrong with the American Church. I have not given up on Church. I go now.
However, I am determined to BE the church with a few and not just go to church with the masses. I refuse for church to be a place. I am recovering what it means to live in fellowship with others as the body of Christ.
It's messy...real...and freeing. I believe as much for you and your people.
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